Dorm Democracy Scandal Rocks Kenyan School

Chaos erupted at a secondary school in Kenya after the principal, in a dramatic late-night assembly, ordered students to vote on who they thought had brought weed into the dormitories.

What began as a routine disciplinary inquiry quickly turned into the most one-sided election in the school’s history. In a stunning show of unity, 98% of the ballots named one suspect: Ndirangu, the principal’s own son.

Witnesses say the results sent shockwaves across the assembly hall. Ballot slips carried variations like “Ndirangu,” “Son of Principal,” and even “Ndirangu the Farmer.” Only a handful strayed toward “Bob Marley” and “the school watchman.”

But just as democracy was about to deliver its verdict, the principal declared the process invalid. Citing “irregularities” and “suspicious voting patterns,” he dismissed the results, insisting students had been “misled by propaganda.”

“Clearly, this election was compromised. The will of the dormitory cannot stand,” the principal thundered, effectively annulling the vote.

Students, however, are calling it the “cleanest election in Kenya since independence,” with one Form 3 student remarking: “We didn’t even plan it. Everyone just knew.”

The scandal has since been dubbed “Dormocracy Gate”, sparking debate on whether Kenya’s democratic struggles have now trickled down into its school compounds.

Meanwhile, Ndirangu has kept a low profile, last seen walking to prep while whistling “Could You Be Loved.”

Student activists are demanding reforms to the “dorm justice system,” warning that if principals can overturn votes at will, then “we might as well just go back to prefect dictatorship.”